I have never been a patriotic person. If you ask me, I’m from everywhere. I go around the world adapting traits from other cultures that resonate most with my lifestyle.
But there are things about my roots that I just can’t deny. Traits engraved deep within me that I cannot change no matter how hard I try. There’s no denying of one’s roots; they take an important role on your personality and sometimes you just have to learn how to work with it as best as you can.
Indecision is one of the most annoying depression symptoms. Feeling unable to decide whether or not to go to work, or what clothes should I wear, or what to study. Granted, we all face indecision probably daily in our lives, but when depression is constantly on our shoulders the task of making a decision is sometimes unbearable. The simplest decision could make us unresponsive, unable to move because we’re just so afraid of the consequences we might face. And when this is accompanied by anxiety, it’s a matter of which decision would lead me to the less painful scenario.
Honestly, today is one of those days when getting out of the door seems like mission impossible. I picked up a blanket, made myself some coffee and started watching The Golden Girls. Whenever I immerse myself in the lives of Rose, Blanche, Dorothy and Sophia, I end up laughing in the face of uncomfortable subjects and situations that could very well happen to most of us. Watching them is one of the things Astrid and I love to do when we’re feeling really down. When there’s nothing but stress and lack of motivation, we sit down with a cup of coffee and watch The Golden Girls.
Bipolar disorder is a mental condition that causes mood swings ranging from depressive lows to manic highs. While I don’t suffer from this, not that I’m aware of, I have a friend that does. I used to work with her until a while ago, before I recently changed jobs. Her bipolar disorder is characterized by going in between periods of hypomania and periods of depression, but never really hitting mania or full major depression.
I feel like I’m on trial. The training for the new job is causing me to wake up every day irritated and a bit anxious about the situation. Somehow I passed two assessments already but, if I don’t pass the third and last one then that’s it, I’m out. I feel a huge boulder on my chest and I find myself incessantly tapping my feet to an imaginary beat when I’m at the training classroom. I’m nervous I won’t be smart enough for the job, anxious I’ll end up unemployed. I replay different worst-case scenarios in my head daily, coming up with new ones every day!