Indecision is one of the most annoying depression symptoms. Feeling unable to decide whether or not to go to work, or what clothes should I wear, or what to study. Granted, we all face indecision probably daily in our lives, but when depression is constantly on our shoulders the task of making a decision is sometimes unbearable. The simplest decision could make us unresponsive, unable to move because we’re just so afraid of the consequences we might face. And when this is accompanied by anxiety, it’s a matter of which decision would lead me to the less painful scenario.Read More
It has been quite busy these past few weeks. Busy all the time! Non-stop. Today, I was finally able to keep my day off and not run to pick up extra hours. I slept in, relaxed in bed and then looked at my phone. After less than 10 seconds, I saw an article about an actress I really like and admire: Evan Rachel Wood. I clicked on the article and was immediately drawn to it.Read More
It was 3 a.m. and my thoughts wouldn’t let me sleep. I tossed and turned, and nothing but my thoughts happened. At the time I didn’t know what was wrong so I got up and took my journal and a pen. And then, as I started writing, I realized I’m going down the black hole. Again.
January 13, 2019.
I haven’t had a positive thought in my mind for so long.
I finally got a new job. After months of applying to different jobs and getting “Thanks, but no thanks” emails. After practicing in front of a mirror how to introduce myself a hundred times, and how to smile a hundred more times. Not to mention preparing myself for all the stereotypical questions and uncomfortable moments knowing that most of the answers I’m giving are all staged. They’re the result of multiple drafts that end up being exaggerated truths. *coughwhosaidthatcough*
However, sometimes despite the trouble I get the job and it’s time to celebrate!
Self-acceptance is a roller coaster and, when we’re in the pit of despair, it’s just so hard to accept who we are. Whenever we’re there the brain engages in self-loathing and, after it’s done, we feel like a hurricane just passed by and now we have to pick up the mess, again.
It’s just not that simple.Read More