I’m Back at my Job and I guess I’m lucky?

So happy…

Finally I’m back at my job!

That’s great…it really is. Can’t way to go back to my lovely workplace and enjoy myself.

Eh…well…

More like I can’t wait to worry less about money. If I usually stressed about money, having no income it’s even more stressful. Florida’s reemployment has yet to reply me, nevermind I applied for unemployment benefits on April 10, 2020, more than a month ago. Friends that have applied after me have already gotten at least one paycheck. I’m still waiting, fearful I might not be able to pay rent on June.

And so, when the boss called me telling me she had a job for me, I accepted without a doubt.

The job is far from my last position and it was a demotion almost equivalent to being a security guard and, although I never imagined myself doing a job like that, at least I’m thankful to the company for thinking of me and offering me the opportunity.

Right?

At least the view is pretty sometimes

Reality is, I’m only thankful to be earning money in these desperate times. After I hung up the phone my heart shrunk a little. I was about to go back to a company that got rid of most its employees. Just like many companies. Problem is, I knew how some of those faces looked like. Those faces have names and wonderful personalities.

I felt like a traitor.

I texted my ex coworker and friend about them calling me back. She was happy for me but I felt immensely guilty for accepting their offer. The company laid off all of my previous teammates without mercy. Those people that gave 12 years of their lives away in those filthy counters, being yelled by customers all day, everyday, and all for pennies; all gone.

I guess it’s something that happens when you work for corporate America. That’s why it blows my mind that people spend so many years working for a single company. A company that can easily get rid of you in desperate times because you’re just a body to them.

Yes, a body.

I was out of work for a month, and for a month I planned to never go back to a company that left all my friends in misery. Not in the air like they were, but in a difficult and hopeless situation. In order to be back at the company they must reapply and be happy with a much lower starting salary and no benefits. You can see how much they think their employees are worth.

I understand being laid off because a company can’t afford you. But I am well aware that those that were first laid off were those that have been in the company the longest. And then when they called me to go back I was also aware I was the first one to be called despite being the newest in the team and therefore the least seniority.

And yes, I am extremely fortunate to have a job nowadays. Extremely.

However, in the back of my mind I still have my friends who worked as hard as I did, some even more. And I do not feel proud for being back.

We live in a world ruled by corporations. Where the employees are not valuable and are given no choice but to participate in a system designed to keep them poor. Where the wealthiest will stay rich and the poor will always be poor.